I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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