I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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