meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize