I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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