U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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