maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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