I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
