I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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