We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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