They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
