Whod you bang
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
