all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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