He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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