dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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