Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
