Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
