Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
