dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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