I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
