I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
