Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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