Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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