we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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