Your face is a jimmy john
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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