I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
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Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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