the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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