Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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