Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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