Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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