I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
