We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
