how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
