He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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