Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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