"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
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I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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