tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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