He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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