Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
