a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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