His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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