Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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