I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
