Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.

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(813): View more from Florida

So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(204): View more from Manitoba

Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus

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(406): View more from Montana

So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?

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(206): View more from Washington

After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.

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