Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.

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(305): I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things. http://tfl.nu/z35b

Replies (4) Good night (867) Bad night (1866)
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(631): View more from New York

AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg

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(631): AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg http://tfl.nu/wpj0

Replies (48) Good night (664) Bad night (3379)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.

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(303): I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better. http://tfl.nu/9eyu

Replies (23) Good night (5577) Bad night (707)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.

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(708): I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off. http://tfl.nu/0f1b

Replies (34) Good night (5204) Bad night (1047)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Mattress luging...It's a long story.

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(503): Mattress luging...It's a long story. http://tfl.nu/0tlk

Replies (5) Good night (3216) Bad night (753)
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(810): View more from Michigan

She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.

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(810): She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself. http://tfl.nu/zfk0

Replies (10) Good night (1029) Bad night (2662)
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(979): View more from Texas

For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.

(512): View more from Texas

You. Win. At. Life.

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(979): For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280. (512): You. Win. At. Life. http://tfl.nu/wgzm

Replies (34) Good night (2395) Bad night (893)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster

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(908): Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster http://tfl.nu/yuhk

Replies (4) Good night (468) Bad night (1354)
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(706): View more from Georgia

On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.

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(706): On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related. http://tfl.nu/0zhl

Replies (12) Good night (2516) Bad night (525)
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(208): View more from Idaho

You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.

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(208): You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian. http://tfl.nu/g8r4

Replies (12) Good night (2710) Bad night (655)
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(956): View more from Texas

Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?

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(956): Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone? http://tfl.nu/ptfa

Replies (7) Good night (1090) Bad night (484)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?

(770): View more from Georgia

Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.

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(910): Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator? (770): Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life. http://tfl.nu/b6oq

Replies (7) Good night (2005) Bad night (510)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one

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(307): There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one http://tfl.nu/1hhb

Replies (8) Good night (1064) Bad night (395)
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(207): View more from Maine

But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!

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(207): But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on! http://tfl.nu/iftt

Replies (11) Good night (356) Bad night (841)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.

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(202): She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home. http://tfl.nu/t0al

Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (678)

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