Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize