you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
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to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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