I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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