Me too!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
