So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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