Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
