His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
organizing the empties. That sober.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My liver just had a heart attack.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i believe in u and ur pee
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
