you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
