I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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