Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
