you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
