She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
