some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I AM VODKA MAN
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
