Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
